Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Hendren's Hyperbole! Episode 5 -- Punch 'em in the face!

Welcome back to another riveting addition of Hendren’s Hyperbole! I hope everyone had a great weekend. How was my weekend? Thanks for asking! I watched a little golf, hung out with the family and attended my first and probably last live MMA fight with Golfdom’s Editor-in-Chief Seth Jones.

MMA, what a joke. Let’s talk golf, a real sport that does not involve two knuckleheads rolling around on the ground playing grab-ass in tight shorts, Tap Out gear, or morons, ERRRR fans, yelling “Punch 'em in the face!”

Congratulations to Bubba Watson, winner of the Farmers Insurance Open. He won with a score of -16. Phil Mickelson milked the crowd for all it was worth on the 72nd hole by having his caddie tend the pin for his 72-yard approach shot to force a playoff. Mickelson's shot was pretty close but in the end Watson was able to grab his second win on tour.

I think the real story at the Farmers was Johnny Vegas. I love this kid! His mind is sharp and his will is outstanding! He was very close to grabbing his second win in as many weeks. The last player to accomplish that feat was David Duval in 1997; he actually won his first three events.

I can’t wait to see what Vegas can do over the next few years. The sky is the limit for this kid -- let's start up the hype machine right now. Well, as long as he doesn’t start hanging out with Anthony Kim in his off-time, I think he'll make a big splash. Talk about a fantasy sleeper! Just remember you heard it here first!

How about Tiger’s pedestrian performance? He tied for 44th place. Everyone is off the Tiger bandwagon. How many times is this guy going to revamp his swing? How many swing coaches is he going to fire? How long are they going to keep following him on the course even though he is 15 shots off the lead?

Ratings were up 54% on Sunday’s final round on CBS. That just proves my point that Tiger's fans have left in droves. Tiger wasn’t anywhere to be found and the ratings were still great! I think everyone tuned in to watch my boy Johnny Vegas!

It did make my weekend to watch Tiger hit bad shot after bad shot, slam his club on the ground and drop f-bomb after f-bomb. He must have got that after-shot routine from Seth. If you're playing with him this weekend at the GCSAA tournament, I feel sorry for you. Just prepare yourself for this behavior, it's better if you know about it going in.

I think Tiger needs to go back to Vegas and let off a little steam as only Tiger can. It couldn’t hurt, right?

Matt Hendren is a superintendent for the city of Kansas City, Kan., and is currently preparing to work an overnight shift to deal with snow removal.


Anonymous said...

I guess the snow removal lead to the angry tone!

And how about a shout for the free tickets! It's not like Jonesy hooked you up - jeeze man, that's gratitude for ya!

Anyway, I got to go punch somebody...


Hendren said...

You hit the nail on the head! Snow removal does lead to an angry Hendren. Oh yeah, Jonesy only hooks me up with FUN free stuff. See how that works?