The turkey was moist, the stuffing was dry and the family that never disappoints didn’t. What’s become my own little social experiment with my in-laws has, yet again, provided holiday humor for us all to enjoy. This year's over/under predictions tell the tale of family dysfunction which we all of are frighteningly familiar.
UNDER 5
The number of times “Gus,” my new 3-month-old Pug had “an accident” on my in-laws new downstairs carpeting: three “accidents” on the new carpeting highlighted the holiday
UNDER 7
Incidents that involve children crying: six crying incidents from children, mostly involving the Wii.
OVER 2
Incidents that involve adults crying: four crying incidents from adults, mostly involving each other.
UNDER 18 – Cigarettes secretly smoked while "taking out Gus": 12 cigarettes. Didn’t know brother-in-law quit last month.
UNDER 1
Major announcements that someone is pregnant (This has happened for the past six years, I’m NOT kidding): 0 — It’s a miracle! No one pregnant.
OVER 60
Minutes late that “Lunch/Dinner” is actually served: 86 minutes late — a new record!
UNDER 34
Total Score of Tennessee/Detroit game: 57 — Detroit is going to make history by winning zero games.
UNDER 40
Total Score of Seattle/Dallas game: 43 — meaningless score by Seattle ruined this pick.
UNDER 47
Total Score of Arizona/Philadelphia game: 68 — Arizona had better find some D-fense before the playoffs.
Another “Turkey Day” in the books for the in-laws and me! I hope everyone had a great holiday before the tryptophan kicked in leading to hours of relatively uncomfortable couch sleep.
